We have a culture of pushover parenting.  Don't believe me?  Look in the supermarket, where three-year-olds are often given treats to keep them from misbehaving.  Look at exhausted parents eyes, which have so many lines under them because Junior kept them up half the night tossing and turning in Mom and Dad's bed.  And look at the parenting magazines, which tell us that we must, at all costs, preserve our child's self esteem, even if he's a spoiled brat.  Everywhere we look, parents are trying to be their kid's friends.

Maybe we've forgotten that when becoming a parent means that we are responsible.  We are the authority.  That little baby came into the world without a clue how to fall asleep in his own bed, or obey Mom's "don't touch," or be kind.  He won't learn those things if someone doesn't teach him.

So let me encourage you, along with Betsy Hard, author of It Takes a Parent, to take those reigns of authority that come with the title 'Mom' or 'Dad.'  Put your baby to sleep in his own crib and don't get him up at the first protest tears.  Tell your toddler to pick up his toys, and follow through with a punishment if he doesn't.  Come up with some chores for your preschooler (make sure you teach him how to do them).  Don't let your grade schooler go to that party if his room isn't clean.  Require your teen to pay for gas in the car he uses.  Be the parent.  Teach responsibility.

I don't think there are any perfect parents out there, but lets be parents for our kids rather than friends.  Lets persevere even when the results aren't immediate and the culture is encouraging us to give up.  Babywise II says that a 1-year old is really only capable of obeying about 60% of the time when parents begin obedience training.  To get better results we'll need persistence throughout childhood.  Parenting is hard work.  It's filled with joy and love, but hard work nonetheless.  The more we accept the mantle of responsibility that comes with parenthood, the more we'll be able to enjoy our well behaved, kind hearted children.

RESOURCES
It Takes a Parent
Babywise II

How's your "to do" list looking?  Is it pretty full?  Do you find yourself often on the edge of exhaustion from all the busyness?  If so, you're not alone!  We seem to have a cult of busyness in our society.  We pack our schedules full of errands, lunches with friends, bible studies, volunteering, classes for the kids, and a million other things that all sound pretty noble.

But at the end of the day, we collapse into bed without having made a connection with the most important person in our lives.  "Many husbands and wives are running circles around each other, seldom meeting in the middle" (Created to Be His Help Meet p. 280).  That means that husband and wife are left more or less alone.

 That first birthday is a big milestone!  It marks the end of babyhood, and the beginning of all things toddler.  After returning from a week away with my husband to our son's first birthday, I am very aware of the transition.  Junior is growing up!

 In preperation for this new phase, I am reading Toddlerwise, which has some great suggestions for how to build a schedule for your one-year-old that will help him navigate these changes.  The authors suggest beginning by making a list of your goals for your child.  Then write out the fixed things in the day, like meals and naps, and fill in the rest of the schedule with activities that will allow Junior a chance to grow toward those goals.

So where have I been all this time?  Off on a missions trip / vacation with my husband!  It was wonderful for our marriage, our son, and our family.  Why?

1.  Going away helped us remember why we got married in the first place -- we're great friends!  We got to work on the same missions project together (laying bricks is work enough for two!), make new friends together, and explore the Dominican Republic together.  We got to have long uninterrupted conversations in restaurants and get lost and found again among the first buildings ever built in the New World.  It was great fun and has renewed our vision for life together.

Do you remember looking in the toy store window as a kid and drooling over some toy?  I do.  For me, it was American Girls' Felicity doll.  I still remember how much she cost: $84.00.  That was a massive sum for a 9-year-old girl.  I got about $2 a week in allowance and, after tithing, I saved it all for that doll.  By the time I had saved up all that money, I had something even more valuable than a very exciting package coming to me in the mail.  I had learned financial self control.

Sadly, that value has been lacking in our society as a whole for a while.  The popularity of Keynesian economic policy ("spending our way" out of economic crisis) has given license to our greedy sinful natures.  The entitlement mentality, growing credit card debt, the housing bubble, and even

Remember when God created man in his image? Well, do you remember hearing about that anyway? I really like Debi Pearl's three ways that men tend to reflect God's image. Maybe you'll recognize your husband among them:

1. Mr. Command Man: These born leaders reflect God's strength. They see the big picture and enjoy being in charge. Respect is very important for these men. Their wives will find themselves adored Queens when they allow their "Command Man" husbands to be the Kings.

2. Mr. Visionary: This man reflects the Holy Spirit's prophetic nature. He sees the details of life and is a shaker, changer, and dreamer. Visionary men are usually either rich or poor, depending on how their often-risky schemes go. They need wives who can enjoy being along for the adventurous ride, but can think objectively and keep their feet from flying too far off solid ground.

If you've ever tried to give a breastfed baby over a certain age a bottle, you'll believe me when I say that our son wasn't interested in that cold plastic thing with formula in it. We tried for several weeks but he would have none of it. Why did we keep failing? Well according to the "Baby Whisperer," Tracy Hogg, we weren't really giving it all we had.

Here's her plan, which worked really well for us:

1. Prepare yourself emotionally for a hunger strike. If your baby has had 4 or more months to enjoy and acclimate to nursing, bottles of formula probably won't be very appealing to him.

This is true for my little boy twice over. He heard plenty of teaching in utero as he came along to the high school Spanish classes I taught. Now, as he is growing, he is seeing the teacher side of Momma more and more. Among other things, I teach him to fall asleep on his own, keep his hands off the electrical cords, use the potty, and brush his teeth. What do you teach your children?

It's an important question to consider as Baby approaches toddlerhood. What do you want to teach him? I am a much better mother when I keep in mind my long and short term goals. To get you thinking, here are just a few of the goals I am implementing with my 11-month-old:

Good sleep is a lot like surfing. Really. Several biological rhythms work together to help us (and our babies!) fall asleep. There are rising and falling temperatures, as well as melatonin and cortisol level cycles.  We want to catch the rising "sleep wave" before it begins to crash into a fussy, overtired baby.

According to Dr. Weissbluth in Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, when we time our childrens' naps and night sleep when all three of these cycles are at the right point, good quality sleep will come easily.  This is when the child is beginning to lose steam, but before he catches his "second wind."

You know that Junior can only handle so much action before it's time for a nap. Whether it's too many errands or too late of a nap, nobody likes to see a preschooler who's at the "end of his rope." Yet, many of us parents let ourselves get drained on sleep.

Why? Well, we live in a busy world where we're pushed to "keep up with the Jonses'" activity level. There are so many activities to do and TV shows to watch and websites to keep up on.... and then along comes a baby. At first he's up several times at night to eat, but even when he settles in for some good solid nights of sleep, all that baby care we've done during the day means postponing our "me time" and "us time" until after he's in bed. It can all add up to a late night for Mom and Dad.